This website is dedicated to all of us learning to function in a world we were not prepared for.

The moment of leaving the Jehovah’s Witness organisation should be the start of an incredible journey of self-discovery. But for many of us, this period is marred with the pain of being shunned, the isolation which comes from losing your family and friends right when you need them most, and the realisation that you have been lied to and exploited by the organisation you gave your life to.

Denial. Anger. Resentment. Shame. It takes a while to work through all of that and even get to the fun, ‘self-discovery’ bit. Some of us never make it. The pain and grief are just too much. Some remain perpetually outraged, unable to feel at peace and find enjoyment in life. Some convert their energy into activism, and thank goodness they do. For so many of us, the first few months after waking up we are glued to our YouTube accounts, binge watching our favourite activists. We are finally getting the validation we needed. Not only is it incredibly therapeutic, but it highlights our blindspots and improves our ability to think critically following years of indoctrination. This is an essential part of our ongoing recovery process.  

The focus of this blog is not to debunk the JW religion. This is already being done incredibly well by many talented and dedicated activists. The focus of my work is on rebuilding our lives after leaving.

As a Jehovah’s Witness, we internalise so much that is harmful to our sense of self, our identity, our feelings of self-worth, and our belief that all human beings are worthy of love, respect, and happiness, simply for being born. We suppress our own needs and desires in order to put God (aka the organisation) first. We have no time or tolerance for indulgent practices such as self-care, having fun, or doing anything other than ‘furthering kingdom interests’. Even if you weren’t the type of Witness to exert yourself too much in that way, there was still no option to exert yourself in other ways, because this would be ‘seeking great things for yourself’. So we stagnate. Unable to do anything which the organisation does not approve of, and yet totally oblivious to the fact that we are being manipulated and controlled into wasting our lives away. 

It was only after I disassociated that I first heard Jehovah’s Witnesses described as a ‘high-control’ religion. This absolutely fascinated me, and in the years since I have tried to understand what that means, what it looks like in practice, and how it has affected my life and the lives of many other ex JWs.

I noticed a gap in the published literature and information available online which made strong connections between the JW experience, the impacts this can have on its members, how to address these impacts, and how to move on and live a satisfying life now that you are the one in control. My aim is to fill this gap.

I want to share what I have learnt from my own experience in case it is remotely helpful to you in your recovery process. Despite how it may feel at times, we are the lucky ones. We are out. Free. And we owe it to ourselves and all of those who didn’t make it to live the best life we possibly can, whatever that may look like to us now.  

Renee